Trying it On · Performance Culture

Try it On is a simple, no-cost, non-committal approach to engaging with an idea.

We are certain you recognize these scenarios: somebody shares an idea with the group and the clapbacks happen almost immediately:

“This doesn’t make sense.”
“We shouldn’t be doing that this way.”
“This is more complicated than you think.”
“This is not how we do things.”
“I have many years of experience and I can tell you that…”
“That’s not how this works.”
“Here are x reasons why this doesn’t make sense.”
“If it was supposed to be this way it would have been done already.”
“We don’t have the resources to do it, or do it that way.”

In short, an immediate, reflexive and usually negating response occurs. (Have you ever wondered why?)

Understand that this reflex is a function of the natural make-up of a human being (how we wound up being). It isn’t something you needed to remember doing or practice — it just happens naturally! The reason is that new, non-status-quo-conforming information is an immediate threat to our worldview, which for us is collapsed into our Identity.

Regardless of whether you and I agree on the correct reason or the exact mechanics, I am sure you are able to Discover for Yourself that this immediate, reflexive and usually negating response reduces all opportunity for Collaborative Performance down to 0 (zero). There will NOT be an authentic engaging with a comment, an idea or a suggestion when IT — the abovementioned automatic mechanism — runs the show.

¶Trying it on

Think of trying it on like shopping for a jacket: you browse through the store (or even many stores) trying on various styles, looking at yourself in the mirror, seeing how it fits, how it feels after being on your body for a while. Sometimes you might even pick up a jacket fully outside of your preference or your initial pick and walk around in it for a little while.

This allows you to interact with the World of Possibility — and rather than immediately justifying why something won’t work, or why only your current jacket can do, you are now free to explore. It requires genuine experimentation, not just going through the motions.

In our example, you might try on ten different jackets, dislike many, but find that specific elements in those jackets are valuable, and you might look for them in future jackets you pick. And remember that at no point in time are you obligated to buy the jacket — you can try a dozen on and just leave the store.

That is what makes the Try it On distinction so powerful in our working together: it gives your Default Way of Being the room to explore your colleagues’ thoughts, ideas and suggestions without falling into the automatic trap of being threatened.

Individuals who regularly use the Try it On distinction are higher performers than those who are certain about how things should already be.

Without the ability to Try it On, you will remain in the World of Ordinary — extraordinary is possible, but very hard.

¶Listening for Gold

One last note: a key part of Try it On is what we call Listening for Gold. Listening for Gold is an extraordinary context for listening to your colleagues. A deep dive into it would be its own full world, so we are providing the essence of the distinction in this short corollary.

You will be part of many conversations where you are not the one directly engaging. That is not a chance to do side work or be disengaged. It is in fact an opportunity to Listen for Gold as an observer and still get something out of the conversation. It is in these moments where we experience great leaps in thinking. When you Listen for Gold, things will open up for you in unexpected ways.

It is a gift. If you’ve ever given a speech and found that one listener in the crowd who listens to you with true, deep attention — who has you feel like they respect and admire and look forward to really hearing from you — how does that make you feel on stage? Is it not often a life saver?